Lying Next to Me Lying Next to You

Lying next to me, you said “I’m sorry I complicate your life.” The same words I was just about to say to you.  I’m sorry I complicate your life. But mostly I’m sorry for you, not sorry for me. I’m sorry I’m not more sorry.

You’re complicating my life because I’m complicating yours. You’re complicating my life because I desire you to. I welcome the complication– not the waves of pain that come with it– but the complication. The complication makes me feel like we’re interesting. And real.

Lying next to you, I said, “I love you. I know we can’t be together (I only know this because you make me know it)… but I do.”  And you said, “I know. I love you too.”

And in that moment, you told me what, at a minimum, I need to know to survive.

It was simple.

It was beautiful. Heartbreakingly so.

via

xoxo,
B