i make no apologies

This is what greeted me the other morning as I went to fill the coffee pot with water. Phone in hand, I couldn't help myself but share this with the world.... I mean, seriously. WTF

Immediately, this was facebook worthy. I mean, come on. How does this happen??

My facebook poll:

‎1. Did C forget about it before it got soggy?
2. Was he running late and didn’t have time to eat approximately 5 lbs of Fruit Loops?
3. He realized maybe our bellies weren’t designed to handle approximately 5 lbs of Fruit Loops? OR
4. He just thought the sink would enjoy some breakfast? Now accepting your best guesses…

By far, the comments of the day weren’t even votes:
” That is a giant-ass bowl of fruit loops.”
“He had to go fight crime. Dig for (Viking-sized) tights and leotards.”

midway through the commenting…
C’s response: ” God damnit, B. It’s Apple Jacks. Yes, the body is designed to handle that amount (Apple Jacks, not Fruit Loops). And I thought the sink would want to partake, but it still sits there. And, btw, the tights are easy to stash. The Viking helmet? Not so much.”

And the commenting resumed:
“I eat my cereal in mixing bowls too. I’m with him on this one.”
“I’ve started to notice most his replies to B’s statuses/photos start out with ‘Goddamnit, B…'”
“Maybe you should know your role, B,  and clean it up because your husband works hard all day and has the right to come home to clean house. In a related story, I like my coffee the way I like my women: Hot, sweet and always in the kitchen where it should be.”

C’s response: “I guess I, as well, like my woman like I like my coffee: hot and…bitter.”

Well played, C. Well played.

XOXO,
B

So, recently I’ve developed a reallllly crappy cold.  The kind that knocks you on your ass and makes you forget if you’ve taken your over-the-counter meds or not.  The kind that makes you act slightly drunk at work because it turns out you already took one dose before you took the second.  Whoops.

But anyway, back to the Dream Water.

I was at the store in the cold/flu aisle, and was about to leave with my basket of overpriced drugs when I saw one of those red discount signs beckoning to me.  Discount signs kill me.  I mean, I’ve probably spent more money on crap that’s on sale that I use once, dislike, and throw away than on things I’ve bought full price and actually use.  This is what was on sale.

 I mean, who WOULDN’T buy this?  It’s called Dream Water, the flavor is Snoozeberry (a-freaking-dorable),, and there are pictures of sleepy sheep on the side.  Done.  Throw it in the cart.

Also, it’s usually 6 dollars and something odd cents, but it was on sale for $2.50 a 6 pack.  Sheep AND a heavy discount?  It’s like they saw me coming.

Here was B & my gchat convo about it:

E: i bought this shit called dream water
B: that sounds pretty hippie
E: Fuck no. I hate hippies.  They don’t believe in curling irons.

I do.  I really hate hippies.

But now what?  I have this in my fridge, staring at me whenever I open it to take out a Diet Coke.  The logical thing would be to try it.  However, it’s been sitting there for 5 days now while I went and did illogical things.  Tonight, I figured there was no time like the present, and as we speak, a “shot” of this is sitting next to me on the couch, staring me in the face.

So I manned up and took the shot of Dream Water, only to discover after twisting the empty cap back on that it says “Best By Jul 28, 2011”.  Awesome.  I wonder if this means it will turn into Dream Water, or some other sketchy side effects.  Or maybe it won’t do anything, and I’ll have been suckered in by the discount/clearance signs yet again.

I figure it can’t be worse than the Pressbox 21 I took on my birthday, which you’re made to do over a garbage can.  For good reason.

Xoxo,

E